OMG! Zombies Attack At The Office


My department hosted an open house for the people at work today as a chance for them to get to know us a little better and to learn more about what the IT staff who toil down in the basement actually do. The whole team really got into it and we had a kick-butt zombie-themed tour to give to groups of our co-workers.

I had left things in the hands of some of my senior staffers to arrange, and I was blown away by what everyone came up with for today and how much creativity and energy they put into it. I setup my office, which is in the hallway opposite our entrance and Help Desk area, as a fortified bunker and stayed locked in there armed with a bike helmet and umbrella to keep the zombie hordes away. I’d yell at visitors to keep away, threatening to delete all their email, since obviously crowds attract zombies. I even put out a dish of cold brains by my door in the hopes that any zombies that came by would get distracted. It seemed to work.

I also sent a few notes the 500 employees of the school  (email signature is my favorite part):

From: David Burns
Sent: Monday, October 31, 2011 10:51 AM
To: All McCombs Staff; All McCombs Faculty
Subject: [IT Alert] Everything’s Fine!! Reports of ZOMBIES in the basement are totally inaccurate

Howdy Gang:

Sorry about the problems this morning. We’ve been having some…um…technical issues related to staff. Things may be a little bit flaky while we try to fight off fix a few of the problems we’ve been having.

If you don’t mind, we could use a few extra bodies, hands, brains…hours of understanding. Feel free to come down around 11 and see for yourself that absolutely nothing weird is going on down here.

I’ll be locked in my office.



David Burns

Director, Computer Services

McCombs School of Business

The University of Texas at Austin

From: David Burns
Sent: Monday, October 31, 2011 12:20 PM
To: All McCombs Staff; All McCombs Faculty
Subject: [IT Alert] Open House: Today Until 1:30


You are all cordially invited to attend the Computer Services Open House, which will be running until 1:30 this afternoon. We have an interactive tour going on, where you’ll learn interesting and useful facts about everything we do. There’s also candy, and we have face-painting for the kids. And zombies.

In fact, I’m going to insist on your attending. Really. I’m totally not kidding*. All I ask is that when you do come down you bring some shoes you feel comfortable running in and whatever weapons you may be able to fashion from items around your office. Doesn’t have to be anything fancy, just something that might remove the head from a zombie. Blunt objects seem to work best. You just need something you can swing. Maybe something pokey too.

Don’t let them bite you.

Good Luck and Happy Halloween!

– David


David Burns

Un-Dead Director, Computer and Body Removal Services

McCombs Ghoul of Business

The University of Texas at Austin State Cemetery

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